Illusive Impressions
by Asagiri
Summary: Two-Shot. She always thought that for him, she was simply an entertainment and that his life mission was to make her miserable... But how was she wrong... Gin x Rukia
1. Part I

Hi there! (^-^)/

This was inevitable, I simply _had_ to write a Gin x Rukia fanfiction, there was no other way or I would never be able to say my life was full xD My two most favourite Bleach characters together… Mufufufu~ ( ´艸｀)

Originally it was supposed to be a one-shot, but it came out a little bit long, so I divided it into two parts. When I finish all the details in the second one, I'll upload it immediately. Shouldn't take me more than a week, so look out for it then! (・ω・)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Bleach. If I did, this story might have not been just a fanfiction xD

But please note English isn't my first language, and so do forgive me any mistakes.

Enjoy!

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**Illusive Impressions  
by** Asagiri

_Part I

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_

**/She had always thought that for him, she was just an object to tease****…/**

Rukia had just graduated from the Shinigami Academy and was following her new adoptive brother, captain of the 6th Division, Kuchiki Byakuya. He was showing her around the main buildings of Seireitei, when a peculiar man crossed their path.

It was the first time Rukia met Ichimaru Gin, the captain of the 3rd Division.

From the first glance she found him repelling and before he got even a chance to show himself from some good side (she doubted he had any), she right off the bat labelled him as a creepy and malicious man. Those squinting eyes, slender build, thin fingers and especially that grin… Everything about him screamed he was dangerous and that she should be extremely careful around him. She was genuinely scared of him.

"Mornin', capt'n Kuchiki-san, how's yer day?" he greeted her brother, while his wide smile didn't waver even a bit.

"It's well, thank you, Ichimaru," replied Byakuya casually and she wondered how he could so calmly interact with this man.

"An' what do we 'ave 'ere?" Gin asked curiously looking at Rukia as if he hadn't noticed her before.

"She's Rukia, my sister," explained the Kuchiki heir. "For now, she's in my Division, but when she gets accustomed to Gotei-13, she'll probably go to a different one."

The silver-haired captain looked her up and down, assessing her carefully and therefore making her awfully uneasy to the point she wanted to hide behind her Nii-sama. However not wanting to act as a coward, she somehow withstood his unnerving stare.

"Hullo, Rukia-chan," he said cheerfully after a moment.

"Good morning, captain Ichimaru," bowing deeply she replied politely, proud of herself that she didn't stammer. She could feel beads of cold sweat streaming down her back and her hands were trembling slightly.

"Hmm… Maybe ya'll end up in my Division, who knows?" he wondered aloud and putting his hand on her head he laughed, "Nah, ya're too weensy."

Rukia didn't know how to react to this. Should she apologise for her height? Should she take it as a joke and chuckle with him? Should she feel insulted? Blinking few times, she arrived at a simple conclusion that she was at a loss. But at the same time she was glad that she might not become his subordinate.

"I wish ya a good day, capt'n Kuchiki-san, Rukia-chan," said Gin happily and with a wave of his hand he continued on his way.

**/She had always thought that his actions had deeper, usually malicious meaning****…/**

Rukia had just been transferred to the 13th Division (how she had rejoiced in her heart it wasn't the 3rd!) and had a feeling it might be the place she belonged to. Everyone was nice to her and even though she was a Kuchiki, they treated her as if she was one of them. Thanks to captain Ukitake and vice-captain Shiba for the first time she felt she could be herself, she felt normal.

That's why she couldn't fail them. At the moment she was on a mission in the Human World as a part of a Hollow-exterminating squad. There were six of them.

Against around thirty Hollows.

Six rookies stood no chance against them or actually two of the rookies for one was dead, two were seriously wounded, another one was trying to tend their injuries and so it was only Rukia and her last companion who were trying their very best to fend off Hollows' attack. They were trapped in a dead alley, already exhausted from the fight.

They had contacted Soul Society for the back up, but who knew when they would arrive. And they didn't have much time – with every second their bodies were feeling more and more sluggish, the time of their reactions was becoming slower, their zampakutōs heavier, their minds less focused. In short, the fatigue was mercilessly beginning to take its toll on them.

"I'll try to distract those two big and then you finish them off," Rukia said to her companion and before he managed to reply, she ran on the building's wall and jumping in the air, she started an incantation for a spell. "_Hadō-no san_— Ugh!"

However suddenly behind her appeared another Hollow and hit her sending her flying. She crashed hard against a roof and scraped against it painfully for few metres. She wanted to quickly get up, but her body refused to move; it seemed she had reached her limit. And what worse, a rhino-like Hollow was charging at her. She closed her eyes ready to receive a fatal blow.

Then unexpectedly she felt someone pulling her by her waist and she found herself pressed protectively against someone's chest.

"_Ikorose_, Shinsō."

"Captain Ichimaru..." she breathed out with eyes wide in surprise, recognising the voice.

"Ah, made it in time. Hold on tight an' leave the rest to us," Gin told her referring to himself and to his recently nominated lieutenant, Kira Izuru. His tone was as carefree as always.

Without thinking much, she put her arms around his neck. From the corner of her eye with amazement she observed as he in the means of seconds eliminated all the Hollows. He was a truly terrifying fighter, however she felt safe holding onto him. At least she didn't feel threatened by anything nor anyone except Ichimaru himself.

"T'was the last one, I s'ppose," he commented. "Ya're 'kay there, Rukia-chan?"

"Yes, you can put me down now, captain Ichimaru," she told him awkwardly, but there was no reaction from him as if he hadn't heard her.

The 4th Division's members were already treating her companions' injuries and when they were ready to move the wounded, they departed for the Soul Society.

"Captain Ichimaru, what is the condition of Kuchiki Rukia?" inquired one of the medics, noticing her being carried by the silver-haired captain.

"She's fine," Gin answered cheerfully with a wide grin. "Nothin' too serious, but I'll take 'er to the 4th Division, just in case."

"Understood, sir."

"Captain Ichimaru, I can walk there by myself," she said, this time loudly enough there was no way he couldn't have heard her.

"I 'ave to make sure capt'n Kuchiki-san's lil' sis' is safe and sound," he replied after a pause in that exasperatingly blithe manner.

"I'm really fine," she said forcibly, trying not to hiss at him in irritation. Why did everyone view her through the prism of her family when she wasn't even a Kuchiki by blood? Keeping her annoyance to herself, she added politely, "And I wouldn't want you to devote your precious time for something this trivial, _sir_."

"Nonsense," Gin chuckled at her formal way of addressing him. "An' 4th Division is right next to mine, so few minutes won't kill me."

Rukia had never felt more embarrassed in her life.

And what was worse – after this mission Nii-sama made sure she wouldn't get any seated position and therefore she wouldn't be sent on any mission that might put her in danger.

Of course, she blamed it on Ichimaru, that bastard.

**/She had always thought that he ****relished in her suffering…/**

Kaien-dono had died…

_No_, she had killed him.

Today had been his funeral, yet Rukia hadn't attended it for she didn't think she could face his family, she wasn't worth enough. Her presence would only profane the sacred ceremony. Even if she tried apologising as fervently as possible putting her whole self into the words and no matter how much she regretted her deed, it would be only an offence to them. Because she was despicable. She was unforgivable. And above all, she was weak. Not only physically, but her heart too was one of the weakest things that ever existed. How come it had gotten the right to even come into existence was beyond her.

She still could feel his blood on her hands. No matter how many times she washed them, she couldn't get rid of those stains, they were haunting her, reminding her of her sin.

And he had even thanked her!

For what? Being a coward?

Rukia was walking near the place of Kaien-dono's death. She was crying hard, her tears getting mixed with the rain that was heavily pouring down from the leaden sky. Yes, the weather quite suited her current mood. She had a feeling that the sun would never rise again, at least not for her. She didn't deserve it anyway.

She didn't know where she was going and she could see practically nothing in front of her because of the tears, but honestly she couldn't care less. She was drenched to the bone, her body was numb, just like hear mind and heart.

The petite Shinigami suddenly tripped over a tree root and fell onto a muddy ground. She lay like this for few moments and then rolled over on her back. The rain was hitting her face, so she had to close her eyes. A fleeting observation passed through her mind that her eyelids were getting heavier and heavier and that maybe she was on a good way to getting hypothermia. She might even die, but that perspective didn't frighten her; quite on the contrary – she found it rather comforting.

To die a lone death, away from others, forgotten just like it should be, just like she deserved it… However her dark musings were disturbed by a voice scarcely audible through the sound of the pouring rain.

"Rukia-chan?"

_No, not him_, passed through her mind and a grimace of displeasure found its way to her face.

"Rukia-chan?" he repeated and she felt him putting his hand on her arm. She slowly opened her eyes to look at him; he was crouching over her with an umbrella.

"Leave me alone, Ichimaru," she said in a weak voice not caring she was rude to her superior.

"Ar'ya all right? Everyone's lookin' fer ya," Gin said and moving his hand to her cheek he noticed worriedly, "Ya're cold."

She didn't reply, only continued to stare at him with glassy eyes. However finding his expression weird (he looked kind of concerned with his brows knitted together), she looked away from him.

"Ya'll get sick like that," he spoke and made an attempt to lift her up, but she somehow shoved him away.

"I told you, leave me alone, Ichimaru," she repeated, this time with some force to her voice and leaning against the tree she dragged herself up, her legs barely supporting her. He tried to help her, but she pushed his hands away.

"What's wrong with ya?" Gin asked, catching her wrist.

"None of your business," Rukia hissed, trying to pull her hand away, but his grip was firm.

"'Tis 'bout Shiba-kun, ain't it?" he questioned her straightforwardly.

The images of her deceased commanding officer flashed through her mind and her eyes clouded with sorrow. Soon they began filling with more tears and she averted her gaze away from the silver-haired captain. _Kaien-dono._ It hurt so much… The fact that he was gone… And that she was the one who had taken his life… She would never be able to atone for this… There was no forgiveness for her.

"He's dead, ya can't do anythin' 'bout it," the captain of the 3rd Division told her gently, squeezing her wrist in an attempt of comfort.

"Shut up," the petite Shinigami growled, looking angrily at him.

Not discouraged, he continued, "Ya did everythin' to save 'im, but 't'was too late."

"_I_ _killed_ _him_, don't you understand?" she yelled at him finally snatching her hand away from his grip.

"It wasn't _ya_ who killed 'im!" he raised his voice. It seemed he was getting weary from her stubborn self-blaming.

"Go to hell, Ichimaru!" she spat at him vehemently. He knew _nothing_ of what had happened that day! How could he assume anything? He had no right!

"Why can't ya accept ya ain't at fault?" the silver-haired captain asked her in a gentler tone but still some tension resounded in it. "Why d'ya beat yerself up fer somethin' ya ain't responsible fer?"

Rukia only glared at him and made an attempt to go away, even though her legs felt weak.

Undaunted, Gin persisted, "Shiba-kun stupidly rush'd into enemy's lair without learnin' the situation first. If anythin'—"

"Shut the fuck up!" she bellowed at him and with contemptuous glare she cruelly added in a growl, "You disgust me. Now go away."

An emotion passed across his face but he quickly masked it and his face took on the look of impassiveness. "I'm not leavin' without ya," he told her firmly.

"Just do me a favour and go kill yourself," she snapped at him.

"Ya leave me no other choice, Rukia," Gin said coldly however a grin made its way to his face and before she could react, she felt a hit to the back of her head and the world went black.

**/She had always thought that for him, she was simply an entertainment…/**

Rukia was hurriedly walking towards her Division's Headquarters, but when she was turning a corner, suddenly someone appeared right in front of her. She managed to catch a sight of captain's white haori and so not wanting to bump into any of her superiors (after all it could be captain Zaraki or captain Kurotsuchi), she clumsily jumped backwards and loosing her footing, she tripped and fell on her butt.

"Oya, Rukia-chan, what'r'ya doin' on the floor?" came an amused voice of none other than Ichimaru Gin.

Her ears turned scarlet; thankfully they were covered with her hair so her embarrassment wasn't too evident. She didn't know what was worse – falling over in front of the captain of the 3rd Division or running into him. At least he wasn't laughing his ass off at her expense. However he did something much more disturbing…

To her horror he extended his hand offering her a help in getting up. But she didn't want to touch him! A chill ran down her spine at the very thought of it. However it would be rude of her if she didn't accept his help…

"Well?" he asked her tilting his head to the side. "Ar'ya goin' to spend a whole day on the floor?"

Tentatively shaking her head, she grudgingly grasped his hand and allowed him to lift her off the ground.

"I don't bite, see?" he chuckled, still holding her hand, his trademark grin as wide as ever.

To Rukia's surprise, his touch wasn't as repelling as she thought it would be. Actually his hand was nicely warm, when she had thought it would be all sticky and cold. And despite his slim body build, his grip felt strong. And for being, well, Ichimaru it was… caring even.

Eventually he let go of her hand and ruffling her hair, he told her, "Ya should train yer balance some more."

Before she could say anything, he disappeared.

**/She had always**** thought that his life mission was to make her miserable…/**

Rukia was walking with guards down the bridge from the Shrine of Penitence towards the Sōkyoku Hill. She didn't feel anything, didn't fear anything, she had no regrets, only hope that Ichigo and others would somehow get out of this alive. She made a decision that for her last wish she would ask Commander-General to spare their lives and send them home. It wasn't much, was it?

Her heart was tranquil, however this changed when she saw Ichimaru casually striding in her direction.

He started from teasing her maliciously about her rudeness and then said he was just joking. After that he agitated her with a seemingly offhand comment that Renji was still alive, but then without delay he voiced her fears that he would soon die anyway. And he started on such nonsense as that Renji had gotten cut up because he wanted to rescue her. But the worst of his taunting was yet to come…

"Are you afraid?" Gin asked out of blue.

Her eyes widened in shock at this question, but she quickly narrowed them in a glare, trying to push away any unnecessary thoughts that threatened to surface in the back of her mind. No, she wasn't afraid. She had accepted her fate by now. She _wasn't_ afraid, she wasn't…

"D'ya want me to save ya?" he offered nonchalantly without paying attention to the alarmed guards.

"What?" Rukia honestly had no idea what he was up to. Was he serious? How could he save her? He was strong, yes, but… Besides what was in it for him? Nothing. Absolutely _nothing_ at all. Then why? Maybe…

Unexpectedly, the silver-haired captain put his hand on her head. "Just kiddin'."

She looked at him disbelievingly. He just didn't…! No! _NO!_

"Bye, bye, Rukia-chan. Next time we shall meet in front of the Sōkyoku," he told her and turning on his heel, he started walking away.

And she screamed for he shattered her resolution. Just when she had accepted her impending death…! He gave her what she didn't wish for, what she was too afraid to hold onto, what she hadn't allowed herself to feel… The _hope_ of surviving… He had made her want to live again!

She had never hated him more.

**/She had always thought that he simply loved taunting her****…/**

Rukia was lying on the ground wounded quite badly after a lone fight with some Arrancars. She had won though right now her body was all battered up and refused to move. She was keeping her hand on her abdomen where was a deep cut that bled profusely and unfortunately her attempts on staunching it were ineffective. At this rate she was going to die. She just hoped that her friends were all right and that the Soul Society won this war.

The petite Shinigami closed her eyes, breathing out heavily. So this was it?

"Ara, Rukia-chan, ya ain't lookin' good," suddenly came a voice. _His_ voice. She didn't want to look at him, especially if his face would be the last one she would see before dying. Could it get any worse?

"Ichimaru," Rukia hissed spitefully coughing on her own blood. She opened her heavy lidded eyes to glare at him. Shit, his presence didn't bode anything good. And he was covered in blood. Bad sign. With the last bits of strength, she lifted her Sode no Shirayuki and pointed it at him.

"That's dangerous, ya know?" Gin told her cheerfully and with a swift movement he easily took her zampakutō. "Come, I don't want ya dyin' 'ere on me."

She didn't have the strength to fight him and so she could do nothing when he gently lifted her up and with _shumpo_ quickly made his way somewhere.

"Just hold in there," he told her softly tightening his grip on her.

She was slowly losing her consciousness however the last thing she saw were his eyes.

Full of worry.

※

When she woke up, she was genuinely surprised to find herself surrounded by her friends. Inoue was healing her, at the moment focusing on her minor cuts for she had already taken care of the most life threatening ones. Next to her she saw concerned faces of Renji, Ichigo and Ishida…

At first Rukia didn't know what was going on, she was at a loss. Not that she complained, quite on the contrary, but she had a hard time believing the surroundings she found herself in. Was it a dream? An illusion? Because it definitely wasn't what she had expected to see after regaining her consciousness (if she would, in the first place). What had happened with Ichimaru?

"What—" she started, knitting her eyebrows but was cut off by Ichigo.

"We WON!" he told her with a wide grin and was immediately joined by the rest in loud and cheerful cries of triumph.

"How? But…" she didn't know what to say to this. And she just couldn't rejoice with them for she still was too confused. Everything was great and all, but where did Ichimaru fit into this? All puzzles had been pieced together, however there was one left that seemed to be from a completely different puzzle set.

"Well, we somehow managed to defeat most of the Arrancars, few fled though," Ichigo started explaining, here and there backed with eager nods of other boys and Inoue. "But then there was a battle with Aizen…" he trailed off, adding to the suspense. "And you wouldn't believe what happened!"

"What?" she whispered hoarsely, not really knowing what to expect.

"Ichimaru," said Renji as if it clarified everything.

Rukia frowned at his ambiguousness, however this one name made her agitated, arising her curiosity to hear the rest of the story, but at the same time she began to feel a little bit edgy. "What about him?"

"He killed him and ran off."

Now that was unexpected! "What?" she asked wanting to make sure she had heard that right.

"Ichimaru. Killed. Aizen," Ichigo said slowly so the meaning of those words could reach her more easily.

Rukia only blinked few times trying to understand the information she had just been told. It wasn't that simple. This made no sense! But— But it was Ichimaru! _The_ Ichimaru! The most heartless, malicious, cruel, spiteful, twisted and sick fox in the whole universe! How could have it happened? Was the world coming to an end?

"No one could believe it," said Ishida seeing her more than evident disbelief. "Aizen too seemed surprised."

"Yeah," added Ichigo. "Everyone was so dumbfounded, no one even started pursuing him."

The petite Shinigami somehow forced herself to accept their words to be true, but there was another thing that perplexed her to no end. Why before losing her consciousness had she seen _him_ of all people? That had had to be some twisted dream, right? A delirium at the verge of the death… Because it couldn't have possibly been as if… No… Just _no_…

"How… how was I saved?" she asked tentatively preparing herself for another revelation.

"About that…" started Renji but hesitated a little as if he too had a hard time believing what he was about to say. "Well, it seems when Ichimaru ran off he somehow found himself near you. Guess, some human emotions awoke in him and he brought you to Inoue."

"I see…" said Rukia, however she understood absolutely nothing. She furrowed her brows in a deep thought. So it wasn't some kind of a twisted dream… But why would he do that? Hadn't he been running away that time? But if he had taken her to Inoue, then… "Where is he now?"

"He's been transported to a cell," supplied Renji.

"What's going to happen with him?" she asked, unable to shush a small worry that was stroking her heart. Did it mean that he had sacrificed his own freedom to save her life? But why? What was in it for him? Because there just _had_ to be something!

"Don't know, probably a trial…" he guessed. "And then who knows…?" the crimson-haired Shinigami trailed off, but everyone knew that the highest penalty was among one of the most possible verdicts.

Rukia nodded her head slowly, "I see…"

She really was glad to be alive, however that meant she was indebted for a lifetime to a man she absolutely despised.

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Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed the first part! (＾ε＾)

Until the second part! Cheers!

朝霧 -Asagiri-


	2. Part II

Hullo! ('-^*)/

Yeah, the second part is up! Thousands thanks and even more to those who reviewed the first one!

**Byakuya Sama**, **CookieMonster666**, **BloodLustLove **and **Sweet Scrifice**

I sincerely love you guys! ﾍ(ﾟ∀ﾟ*)ﾉ

And now, enjoy the rest of this fic!

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**Illusive Impressions  
by** Asagiri

_Part __II

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**/She had always thought**** that for him a day without getting under her skin was a squandered day…/**

Hesitantly Rukia made her way to the Nest of Maggots, unhurriedly taking her steps hoping that maybe something would come out making her change her mind halfway. She felt agitation wringing her heart at what she was about to do. She honestly didn't know what had made her even think of it and she still had a hard time believing that she was actually on her way to carry out that intention… But she felt obliged.

In the end, Ichimaru Gin had been sentenced to twenty years of imprisonment in the Maggot's Nest and after release he would have his spiritual pressure and zampakutō sealed for another fifty years. If his behaviour was model, then after 25 years he could partially regain his _reiatsu_. His sentence was surprisingly lenient, but no one opposed it. Him killing Aizen had helped a lot and there were no actual proofs of any of his malevolent doings. And the fact that thanks to him a member of a noble family had been saved from a certain death also added to his favour. So especially she had no right to even complain about the verdict. She owed him her life after all.

And now she was going to visit and thank him.

But did it take her time… It was the tenth year of his imprisonment.

Rukia had few gifts for him, like melon and mochis. And of course she couldn't forget about dried persimmons. The guy was obsessed with them making sure the whole Soul Society knew about it. Once he had even given her a whole box of them… But that was one of scarcely few human things about him.

She left her weapon by the entrance and after being checked for any dangerous objects she was let in. Tentatively she made her steps towards his cell.

The petite Shinigami spotted him immediately, his silver hair standing out quite considerably. It didn't appear he had changed much for the last ten years, at least not physically. He sat there and was talking with a man from a cell next to his, his trademark grin as wide as always. He hadn't noticed her yet.

"Ichimaru…" she started unsure, but almost flinched when he so abruptly turned his head to look at the source of the voice calling his name that she had a feeling his neck almost snapped. A genuine surprise was evident on his face – his mouth was slightly parted, his eyes partially open. He even blinked few times as if he didn't believe his own eyes.

"Rukia… chan…?" he asked uncertain, as if making sure it was she not some delirium.

She nodded her head silently, not really knowing how to begin.

Gin's surprise soon changed into a smile and he returned back to his old buoyant self. "How ar'ya?"

"I'm fine… I…" gathering her courage Rukia bowed in half and said officially, "I came here to thank you for saving my life."

"Oh?" he looked at her flabbergasted, probably not really knowing how to react to this. But who could blame him? After all she came after ten years… A pretty long time to stop hoping that you'd hear a word of thanks from a person whom you had saved life. Besides, had he even hoped?

"And I brought you this," she hurriedly handed him a bag with gifts through bars, wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible.

Gin slowly rose and approached her, hesitantly taking her gifts. "Thank ya, I guess…" He looked at her closely, his intense gaze making her feel uneasy even though she couldn't see his eyes or maybe because of that. After a moment he looked away, saying quietly, "But there's no need to thank me…"

Rukia watched him carefully, trying to find an answer in him to that question that had been nagging her for so many years. However nothing about him gave out anything. So she asked tentatively, "Why? Why did you do that?"

He only shrugged nonchalantly.

"If you didn't do that, you'd be able to escape…" she pried unfalteringly. "Then why?"

The silver-haired Shinigami stared at her for a moment with an unreadable expression, but soon his grin returned. "If ya need to know, I don't regret it."

"But _why_?" Couldn't he just answer? Was it so hard not to play some mind games with her and at least for once in his life be sincere? It wouldn't kill him, would it? And it would put her at ease, and maybe he too would feel somehow refreshed after a moment of earnestness…

"Does it matter?" he offhandedly returned her question with his own.

"_Yes_," Rukia said forcefully, boring her eyes into his. He wasn't getting away with this! It had been haunting her for _years_; she had spent many sleepless nights trying to comprehend it… She owed him her life and she had to know why. After all he had had to have a reason to save her; you didn't rescue anyone at the same time risking your own life or freedom just _because_.

Gin withheld her gaze, but his smile faltered and he knitted his brows together, possibly because he didn't understand her determination in getting that particular answer out of him. "Why?"

"Because I want to know," she replied without resorting to dishonesty, hoping that it would make him act the same. "I _need_ to know."

He must have given up for he sighed and beckoned her with a wave of his hand. "Come 'ere," he told her and when she was close enough, he put his hand on her head ruffling her hair. "If ya were dead, I wouldn't be able to do this," he said seriously but soon his face broke into a grin.

The petite Shinigami could only stare at him as if he were crazy. It didn't make any sense… Maybe he really had gone mad? Yes, that was it, there was no other explanation…

"Good bye," she said quickly and spinning on her heel, she left to the cheerful sound of, "Bye, Rukia-chan, thanks fer yer visit! Ya can come anytime ya want!"

Surprisingly enough, she did come here few more times and soon her visits became more frequent just to develop into regular ones.

**/She had always thought**** that he would do everything just to see her annoyed…/**

Rukia had just returned from a two month long mission in the Human World. She liked it there, but still she would never have such strong feeling of belonging to it as she had to Soul Society. So she was in high spirits to return home and couldn't wait to meet her friends, her captain, her brother… and even Ichimaru.

But firstly, she had to write a report from her mission, so she headed to her Division. Turning a corner, she was so lost in thought about what she was going to do later this day that she didn't watch her way and therefore she didn't notice in time a man in front of her and bumped into him. Stumbling backwards she lost her balance, however a pair of strong arms caught her before she hit the floor.

"Ara, Rukia-chan. As clumsy as ever, I see."

"You…" the petite Shinigami looked at him with surprise. She hadn't expected to see him strolling around Seireitei yet. Had twenty years already passed? Time sure flied. "When were you discharged?" she asked not minding that he was still holding her.

"Two weeks ago."

"I see," Rukia made an attempt to move away from him and so he let go of her. She took few steps back to take a better look at him. After seeing him for ten years in white yukata, it felt kind of weird to see him in black Shinigami uniform again. But it fitted him better, she had to admit it. Yep, it definitely added to his _creepy_ image. "You haven't changed much during those twenty years," she commented.

"An' ya're as weensy as ever," Gin grinned at her without missing a beat. "An' I'm guessin' yer drawin' is still crappy…"

"Oi!" she bristled and aimed a punch at him, but he avoided it with no difficulty at all.

"Moreover I see yer fondness of violence hasn't diminished at all," he chuckled and once again effortlessly dodged her attack.

Seeing she wouldn't be able to land a hit on him this easily, Rukia glared at him and quitted her small assaults. He lived up to his reputation of an ex-captain and a prodigy even after twenty years of imprisonment and with sealed _reiatsu_. Without being serious, she wouldn't be able to even scratch him. Sighing, she continued on her way to her Division, but with inner smile she noticed he too moved to accompany her.

"How is it?" she asked him, referring to his new life after being released.

"Odd," he replied truthfully and after a moment added, "Even after twenty years without _reiatsu_ and Shinsō it still feels weird. Guess, I'll never get used to it."

Rukia nodded her head in understanding, but remained silent. She had spent only a couple of months with no spiritual pressure at all nor Sode no Shirayuki and had it felt awkward… But to spend twenty years or more? She had hard time imagining it.

"An' it seems I 'ave 《don't trust 'im》 written on me," he chuckled but she could see signs of a frown on his face.

"No surprises there…" she commented. It wasn't and wouldn't be easy on him. He had been a traitor, after all. Even during his trial he hadn't denied he had left with Aizen out of his free will. And there was the fact that he had killed a man whom he had pledged his loyalty to. Regardless of how much had his deed helped Soul Society, it wasn't looked well upon. She kind of pitied him and so to cheer him up she sent him a wide grin.

He theatrically put his hand on his chest where his heart was, nevertheless he couldn't keep his smile off his face, "More sympathy, please…"

"…" She rolled her eyes refraining from any remarks.

They continued walking in silence side by side, content with other's presence. It was a nice spring day in Soul Society; the sun was shining warming up the hearts and was accompanied by a soft gentle breeze that refreshed minds. Soon the 13th Division Headquarters came into sight triggering Gin's memory.

"Ah, congratulations on yer promotion, vice-capt'n Kuchiki," he saluted to her good-naturedly.

Rukia beamed at him, "Thank you." Captain Ukitake had finally managed to persuade Byakuya-nii-sama that she was very capable and strong enough to take care of herself, therefore she was not only worthy of becoming a lieutenant but she actually should. Besides, the times were peaceful now.

Soon they arrived at the front of the 13th Division Headquarters. "'Ere I'll leave ya."

"Thanks," she said and looking at him for a brief moment she added, "And take care, Ichimaru."

The silver-haired Shinigami smiled at her and saying, "Ya too, Rukia-chan," he left with a carefree wave of his hand.

Rukia observed him for few seconds and came to a conclusion that nice Ichimaru wasn't half that bad.

**/She had always thought**** he was there to spoil everything just to spite her…/**

Five decades quickly passed. In the meantime Gin hadn't done anything suspicious and so not only had he his _reiatsu_ and Shinsō back, but what more, he regained his captain rank and Kira Izuru was quite glad to have his superior back. It seemed that to some degree he had managed to redeem himself in the eyes of other Shinigamis, at least when it concerned the official ground. However most of people was still wary of him and preferred to avoid him unless it was absolutely necessary to interact with him.

Also a year before Ichigo had died and after arriving to Soul Society and undergoing a short training (mainly in _kidō_) he almost immediately became a vice-captain of the 9th Division under captain Hisagi. However no one doubted that sooner or later he would become a captain himself.

Between him and Rukia soon a romance bloomed, just like everyone expected so there was no general surprise, maybe few were upset by this but nevertheless didn't show it openly.

The couple was returning to their respective Divisions when Ichigo yanked her hand and pulling her to some nook he pinned her to the wall with an impish grin.

"We have duties, you know," she told him in a gentle scold, but couldn't keep a smile from her face.

"I know," he replied huskily leaning forward, however when he was about to claim her lips his, a voice interrupted him.

"Ya can't do that, Rukia-chan, Carrot-top-kun. Work is waitin'. Leave it fer later."

Ichigo's eye twitched in irritation at the cheerful way of speaking that could belong only to that exasperating fox of 3rd Division. "Ichimaru," he growled lowly, but nevertheless he let go of Rukia. "And my name is _Ichigo_."

"I know that, Carrot-top-kun," Gin singsonged offhandedly seeming unaware of menacing vibes oozing from the red-haired Shinigami.

Rukia was blushing furiously for being caught in an intimate moment with Ichigo, but for some reason she couldn't laugh it away. She normally didn't have problems with displaying her affection in public, but right now she was feeling awfully awkward. And she couldn't look at Ichimaru. But why? What was she ashamed of? She wasn't doing anything indecent, was she? Shaking it off, she put on a smile and beamed at them.

"I'm off then," she told them and without sparing them another glance, she headed to her Division. After hearing "See you later, Rukia," and "Bye, bye, Rukia-chan," something made her disappear with _shumpo_.

**/She had always thought****— But how had she been wrong…/**

After four years of their relationship, Ichigo proposed. She had no idea how he had convinced Byakuya-nii-sama, but he had somehow got his permission to ask her for her hand.

And Rukia accepted.

But she had a feeling that she did it only because everyone were saying it was the right thing to do, that they were made for each other… She cared for Ichigo, she really did, but… But could she spend the rest of her life with him as a wife and husband? Well, the answer _was_ positive, but was it what she really wanted? Would she be completely happy with him? She knew he loved her and would do anything for her, but she wasn't sure if it would make her happy. And she wasn't sure if she could give him the same in return. She had just this feeling that their relationship lacked something…

Moreover, for some reason her heart was full of peculiar wistfulness she couldn't describe and had absolutely no idea where it had come from. It was yearning for something completely different she was actually having, some change, but she was unable to even hazard a guess what it could be.

Soon whole Seireitei was buzzing with the news of their engagement and everyone was approaching her and offering their congratulations.

Everyone except Ichimaru.

Rukia realized this only a week later when he approached her casually. They greeted each other with a smile.

"Would ya take a walk with me?" he asked offering his arm.

She accepted it, chuckling at his gentleman-like manner. They walked in silence for some time when they reached a small orchard behind the 3rd Division, where he grew his persimmons. There Ichimaru stopped and looked at her for few moments.

"Rukia-chan… I…" he started unsurely averting his gaze away from her.

She raised her eyebrows at his rather unusual anxiety, something she would never associate with the always witty and a little bit sarcastic captain, but asked encouragingly, "What is it?"

His hesitation was evident in the way he awkwardly scratched the back of his head, but it seemed he managed to gather some of his courage, for he said quietly, "Ya can't marry Carrot-top-kun."

"What?" her smile vanished immediately from her face and furrowing her brows she took her hand away from him. That definitely wasn't what she had been expecting him to say. Just what was he thinking? Eyeing him warily, she inquired, "Why?"

"Ya just can't," Gin told her with a little bit more confidence to his voice.

"It's my decision, you have nothing to say about it," the petite Shinigami bristled at him, feeling his words pricking her heart.

"I know, but…" he paused in uncertainty what to say next, what arguments he could tell her without giving himself away… But unable to think up anything of sorts, he lamely repeated himself for the third time, "But ya can't marry him…"

"Then I ask you _why_?" Rukia demanded sharply, grabbing him by his collar so he wouldn't run away too easily from her. He better not play games with her this time! She sent him a glare telling him that if he did something suspicious, she would get him for it and would he suffer!

"Because…" Gin sighed frustrated at being unable to express his feelings with words. Then quickly making up his mind, he gently cupped her cheek and hastily bent over sealing her lips with his. It was brief, gentle, full of longing kiss with no imposition on her. He just tenderly caressed her lips with his own, not expecting anything in return, as if he didn't dare to hope.

Rukia didn't know how to react to this. She would never expect _Ichimaru_ of all men to kiss her! So all she could do at the moment was just stand there flabbergasted.

Soon the silver-haired captain pulled away looking in her eyes. "Ya just can't," he whispered softly, still holding her cheek.

Rukia for the first time was able to peer into his ice-blue eyes. And what she found there surprised her. He, Ichimaru Gin, had feelings for her! Feelings she was too afraid to call by name… Because she had never even dared to suppose (dream) she would ever see them in his orbs.

She was so confused…

So she ran away.

**/She had always thought**** that for her he would always be just Ichimaru…/**

The big day came and Rukia was preparing for the wedding. She did her best to forget that encounter with Ichimaru, but it wasn't easy. And what worse, she was having second thoughts about this marriage. But she couldn't cancel it. What about Ichigo? Her brother? She couldn't run away.

Besides, she rarely saw Gin for the past half a year, only during official meetings and he acted as if nothing had happened, rarely even sparing her a glance. She had a feeling he was avoiding her and as for her, she couldn't gather up her courage to confront him. She couldn't risk hurting Ichigo and bringing disgrace to her family for something this ambiguous.

Two servants had just finished dressing her up and left to inform that she would be ready for the ceremony soon. Rukia looked at herself in the mirror. The white wedding kimono was stunningly beautiful, made of the most expensive silk with fine elegant needlework. Her obi was one of the most gorgeous things her eyes had ever beheld, with detailed fancywork presenting chrysanthemums, plum blossoms and bamboo, all shining in crimson, gold and green, as white cranes soared high above royal carriages. All were to bring her good luck.

"Ya look beautiful," came a quiet voice, breaking her out of her thoughts.

Her eye widened in surprise and she abruptly turned to look at him. "What are you doing here?"

Gin sighed scratching the back of his head. "I'm sorry for that, t'was outta place," he said referring to the kiss.

Rukia didn't want to hear him apologise, she realised, even if he was clearly lying. In fact, his words stung her painfully in her heart; she wanted him to say the exact opposite of it!

And what worse, she realised that she didn't exactly feel indifferent when it concerned him.

Why hadn't he told her anything before? He had bloody decades of favourable opportunities yet he had kept silent! But no, just when she had promised herself to other, he had come and brought confusion in her life and heart. And now he was saying he was fucking _sorry_! Just what the hell was he thinking? How she hated him! Yet…

Gin came near her and put his hand on her head ruffling her hair delicately as not to destroy her exquisite hairdo. "An' I came 'ere to wish ya the best of luck. Ya deserve it."

And before she could say anything he disappeared. She unintelligently stared into a space where he had just been standing. For some reason tears started pricking her eyes.

_Fuck you, Gin!_

She didn't know what to do now.

**/****She had always thought— But once again she had been wrong…/**

"Rukia-sama, it's time," a servant said, opening the shōji door widely, so she could enter the shrine where Ichigo and all guests were awaiting her.

Still at a loss, like in some trance she followed the woman.

Rukia was taking her steps slowly, the folds of kimono slightly hampering her movements. When she entered the shrine, voices of admiration reached her, but she didn't hear them. Absent-mindedly she looked at Ichigo. She could tell he was nervous, the hem of his haori was crumpled as he was mercilessly squeezing it trying to stop the shaking of his hands.

She spotted him in the back, tall, his silver hair standing out in the crowd. He was smiling softly at her. Fucking smiling! She threw him an angry look but at the same time couldn't keep the longing from her eyes that was nagging on her heart.

In that very second, she realised that she wanted him to stop her, to stop this wedding.

She realised that he was dearer to her than she had originally thought.

She realised that she wanted him.

And on top of that, she realised that she actually loved him.

Few metres from Ichigo, Rukia stopped in her tracks. She looked at him, her brows furrowed at what she was about to say and how it would hurt him.

"I'm sorry… But I can't do this," she whispered to him and without waiting for his reaction, she turned on her heel and using _shumpo_ she run away before anyone could stop her, before she could see the look of betrayal on the Ichigo's face… But she couldn't be with him. She couldn't lie to him that she loved him and that they would live happily ever after. They weren't meant for each other for there was someone else that took a hold of her.

Rukia hid herself in a first place that came to her mind – her office. Taking out her spare uniform, she quickly started taking off her wedding kimono and after what seemed hours, she delicately put it on her desk so she wouldn't ruin the beautiful robe. Still in her underwear, she went to the bathroom to wash off the make-up. Clean, she dressed and without delay left, knowing that eventually they would search for her here.

Concealing her _reiatsu_, she made her way as far away as possible from Seireitei. Panting slightly, she reached its outskirts and found some clearing in the forest. She sat under a tree and started thinking about how to get out of this alive, because she was positive Nii-sama would kill her. But before this happened, she would love to kill Gin, preferably in some painful way. Since everything was _his_ fault. The petite Shinigami felt really bad for Ichigo, but she just couldn't pretend they would be happy together. He would have to understand that it was better this way.

Suddenly she heard someone coming and feeling Gin's _reiatsu_, she got up to face him, her eyes dangerously narrowed. They stood looking at each other, none of them knowing how to begin.

After few moments, he was the first one to speak. "Why… did ya run?"

"It's your fault," Rukia told him crossing her arms in front of her chest, glaring at him.

"Umm… What does it mean…?" he asked uncertainly but started slowly approaching her, making his way cautiously as if he made any sudden move, she would run away immediately.

"I'd think it's obvious," she said and swiftly moving in front of him, she grabbed his collar bringing him closer to her and pressed her lips against his. Gin didn't wait a single second and started kissing her back passionately, sneaking his arms around her slim waist wanting to feel her small body against his.

"What about the others?" she whispered breaking the kiss.

He grinned against her lips, "I'll think somethin' up."

* * *

**End.

* * *

**

Pretty classic story, eh? But I wanted to write some of that too (・・。)ゞ Still, hope you enjoyed it!

BTW, don't know about you, but I think that Gin is actually a coward, hahaha. That's why it took him this long to actually tell Rukia what he felt ;3 Maybe one day I'll elaborate this in some other fic, we'll see (^▽^)

Bye! (^-^)ノ~~

朝霧 -Asagiri-


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